I speak to A LOT of women over fifty in my job, many of whom are finding themselves somewhat lost in the world of fashion. Retirement, a change of job/lifestyle and changes in body shape; all play their part in wrong-footing their previous notions of what suited them and what clothes to actually buy.
Whilst there are quite literally hundreds of blogs centred around fashion for the twenties, thirties and even forties; come the half century mark, inspiration admittedly dries up a little. But it is out there – if you look. So, as a start and along with my top six tips; why not take a look at my Pinterest boards? You’ll see that far from being relegated to fashion wilderness, fifty plus is the ideal time to add some variety to your wardrobe!
Tip#1 – if in doubt, start with a classic capsule wardrobe.
It will never hurt to have a wardrobe that starts with great fashion staples. A capsule collection of around twenty five different pieces will allow you to create literally dozens of different looks. Classics work on all ages and if you buy right, will last for seasons to come. The most important thing here is to spend time finding these key items in the colours and cuts that work best for you.
The great thing about starting here is that it gives you the opportunity to switch in “seasonal” pieces, knowing that they will work with at least a couple of items in your existing wardrobe. You will ultimately feel more comfortable in taking the odd risk, if you know you’ve got a great foundation to fall back on.
Tip#2 Accessories are your best friend.
(………Before we go any further with tip #2, does anyone know the name of these two fashion icons? I think they’re from The Nederlands and I’d love to feature them more. Quite why they are not already Internet sensations already, is beyond me).
To me; they are the perfect example of how dressing in an age-appropriate manner, needn’t be boring or conform to expected stereotypes. I look at these two and think what great company they’d be for lunch (can you just imagine the stories they’d have to tell)? From the punk-y touches to the great tailoring, their amazing sense of style IS ALL in the little touches.
Think about it for a second. If you took away the sassy shoes, berets, coloured leather gloves, silk scarves, designer specs and ties, the impact would be completely diminished. Make no mistake, these outfits take time and effort to plan but the end result is more than worth it.
I’ve always thought that older women have the ability to pull off big statement accessories in a way that younger females generally just can’t. So make this the time to experiment with finding great pieces that really amp up your outfits and make your style individual to you. You needn’t go mad – a great tote bag in a fabulous colour, a pair of leopard print loafers or a stunning statement necklace can all totally transform a look. In stepping a little outside of your comfort zone, you can make a massive difference in how you look. Experimentation, never did any harm!
#Tip 3 – stay away from fads and trends.
The biggest concern I hear from women over fifty is “I don’t want to look like mutton dressed as lamb” and it’s a valid point. No-one wants to look like they’re desperately trying to relive their youth via the medium of fashion. Here’s a case in point.
“Hello, is that Dyan Cannon? Hi, this is Jon Bon Jovi calling from 1987 and I want my stage outfit back”. Now, let’s get this straight, if I have a figure like this aged 70 plus, I will be a happy bunny but that’s where the admiration ends for me. This is a classic example of someone trying way too hard to dress younger and “trendy” (and let’s be honest, missing by decades), when quite frankly with her body she’d look amazing in most things.
However, does this mean you should never venture near a pair of skinny jeans again? No, of course it doesn’t – skinnies are pretty much a fashion basic now anyway, so I wouldn’t personally regard them as a ‘trend’ item. If they work on your body shape – go for it. The trick is to avoid passing trends, which are generally aimed at the younger market anyway. Although there are always exceptions, generally speaking, anything that shows too much skin or has lots of detailing such as cut outs, ruffles and embellishments is best avoided.
Tip #4 – know what colours suit you
As we age, our hair colour is not the only thing that changes. Very often, our skin tone changes too and the wrong colour can have the undesirable effect of pulling all of the vibrancy out of our face. This applies to neutrals too – particularly nude shades and taupes – so if you’re unsure, I would highly recommend having your colours done by a professional. Not only will this provide you with a palette of around 20-30 shades that really work for you but you’ll also come away with a really strong comprehension of WHY they suit you. This can really serve to make your clothing purchase process faster and less stressful, as you’ll immediately know where to focus your attention.
Right now there’s a real resurgence around embracing greying hair, which is great – if you suit grey hair. If however, (like myself) you have a warm skin tone, chances are that grey is not going to work on you particularly well. If you’re not prepared to dye your hair, then you really need a firm understanding in this area because what suited you five years ago; might not suit you now.
Ultimately, it is what you wear next to your face that has the impact (good or bad), so at the very least try and make sure you have a scarf or jewellery in a shade that really lights up your skin tone. That way, if you just HAD to buy that sweater in ink blue and it’s really not your colour; you’ve got a quick and easy remedy to hand!
Tip#5 – Great hair, great skin and a touch of make-up make all the difference.
I remember back in my youth, there was a very definitive point at which women became “middle aged”. There was an omnipresent army of over-fifties who suddenly decided to give up on fashion. Having brought up families and successfully managed a household for a few decades, you’d have thought they should be celebrating spending time and money on themselves. But no, it was almost like an unspoken line got crossed and their focus was all about fading into the background and dressing as nondescript as possible. Invariably the hair got cut into a “functional” style that could be set on rollers and last all week and shades of beige became de -rigueur. Like I said; an army.
Fortunately, nowadays this stereotype is increasingly a relic of the past but it also isn’t that long ago. Many women still struggle with the concept of spending money on themselves that their own mother would have regarded as “unnecessary” or even worse “frivolous”.
The thing is that – whatever your age – nothing will ever beat good grooming in completing an outfit and it doesn’t have to involve massive investment either. Competition in the beauty market is fierce, so getting a hair cut and colour, having a manicure or a facial is much cheaper – comparably – than it was twenty – even ten years ago. Again, when I was growing up and buying make-up I would save to buy Kanebo skin care and Chanel eye-shadows because the product was so superior to the budget brands. Not so now. I use a range of supermarket skin care that has state of the art ingredients and my make up bag is a mix of high and low end brands. In the town where I work there are fifteen hairdressers and nearly as many beauty salons, all offering the latest treatments and all doing well, thank you very much.
As we get older, the care of our skin and hair becomes of greater importance to keep it looking healthy and vibrant. It makes sense therefore, to take time to find products and treatments that help keep it in the best possible condition. Our production of collagen has slowed dramatically as has our natural exfoliation process. In turn, hair can thin or become dull so what worked for you a few years back, might just need some revision.
In terms of your skincare, it’s a great time to consider booking in for a facial. The therapist can have a good look at your skin and advise you on any problem areas and what products and ingredients to look out for. So whether you decide to buy salon products or find a drug store range that works for you; you’ll know which keywords to look out for. Even if you can’t afford to go for a monthly treatment, it is never too late to start a regime.
There’s no reason why you can’t be older and have a longer style – again the general rule of thumb is to stay away from ‘trends’ and opt for classic styles (such as a long bob) that are easy to maintain. Older hair can have a tendency to get wispy ends, so once you find a style you like; regular trims are a must. If you do decide to colour your grey, highlights and lowlights are much softer than a block colour but as always, ask a professional for advice if you’re unsure. In the picture above, Rachel Welch (who has a warm skin tone and is a natural brunette) looks amazing with her honey coloured bob.
Even if you’ve avoided wearing make-up your whole life, now is the time to explore how just a touch of well applied colour can make a huge difference to both your confidence and your look. Watch this space for an up and coming feature on beautiful day time and night time looks for older skin as it really is an area that warrants its own feature. However, in the meantime here are some quick fixes that make all the difference.
Tip#6 – Now has never been a better time to switch up your look.
I get it. All of this can sound a bit intimidating, right? If you still don’t know where to start, don’t worry. Fortunately, in this day and age of social media there is literally inspiration all around you, if you know where to look. From Pinterest Boards through to YouTube clips and fashion bloggers, believe me there is someone out there who will resonate with you. One of the people I most admire for over-fifties dressing is Lucinda Chambers the ex fashion editor of Vogue. She’s always age appropriate and though much of her wardrobe (unsurprisingly, given her job) is designer – particularly Marni – her looks are really easy to recreate. She loves to mix textures, clash patterns and always chooses interesting accessories.
If you have the budget, another good investment would be employing a stylist cum personal shopper to work with you and do a wardrobe weed-out. This would include going through every item in your closet to establish whether it ultimately stays or goes; including items that might end up staying but need alteration or repair. They will work with you to establish what you wear most (and why). From here – and taking into consideration things like your colouring, body shape and lifestyle – they will firstly look to “fill any gaps” in your clothing collection but also accompany you on future shopping trips, be it choosing an outfit for a special occasion OR just topping up for the season ahead. Most good personal shoppers and stylist have an intimate knowledge of boutiques in your area and will be able to guide you to the right stores, be they independent or chain. It’s an upfront investment that will save a great deal of time, stress and in the long run, money.
So, don’t get stuck in a fashion rut. Whatever your age, shape or style there’s something out there to suit your appetite. So have fun experimenting!
Like most busy people, I have a “to-do” list. I have one for this blog, in fact. A list of potential subject headings on things I want to post about. High on this list was something I was struggling to find a heading for….without seeming….well, like a bit of an old trout.
So, what was making me struggle so much to find a snappy headline? Here goes….. Why do all young girls/women look the same? Same hair, same make-up (what is going on with those brows), same clothes. Where has all the individuality gone? At what point did twenty year old hotties become so insecure about their looks that they headed for Botox injections and fillers in their lips? At what point did a rule get passed that you can only pull that silly, pouty duck face in a photo? What messages are we really sending the young women of today around what it takes to live a happy and successful life, whilst being comfortable in our own skin? The wrong ones in my opinion.
However, none of this was helping me find that all important header for my e-rant. And then someone posted this on Instagram……..
GENIUS. (Annoyingly, why didn’t I think of this? )
We absolutely need to embrace our inner Patsy! In a highly edited/filtered and curated (and in my view, false) world, now – more than ever – we really need to celebrate our individuality, stop masking our “flaws” and be our fabulous (darling) selves. So, just what would Patsy do? Here are her top three rules for life.
Rule #1 – You don’t need someone else’s opinion to validate you. Patsy Stone is a ringing endorsement for the power of self-belief. Yes, she’s flawed but that’s kind of why we love her anyway. Can you honestly imagine her asking anyone (other than maybe Edina) for their opinion as to how she looks? No! She simply doesn’t care what anyone else thinks. I’ll bet she stands in front of the mirror in the morning and says “you’re fabulous darling” and then gets on with her day. Her attitude is one of “take me or leave me” (warts and all) and she’s not interested in putting out a carefully edited version of herself; just for validation. What you see, IS what you get.
Let’s just take a second and compare/contrast mind-set with what we so often see today. Matthew Hussey, the dating and relationships guru, does a great synopsis of the truly self absorbed and insecure way some young females behave nowadays. Talking about online dating apps, he describes how many have literally thousands of selfies on their Instagram feed and profile pages, (none of which look like them because they’re so highly edited and filtered) and then obsessively check them for likes/validation. He goes on to describe how they’ll upload a provocative picture, hashtag it with “beauty is on the inside”, “feelingblessed” and “humble” , whilst totally failing to see the complete irony in those statements. Naturally the women in the room (most of all look like they’re over thirty) see how ridiculous this all is and collapse into fits of laughter.
So here’s the deal. What you see on the Kardashians. What you see on people’s Instagram feeds and Pinterest Boards – is an illusion, produced solely for your consumption. It doesn’t exist. It’s a carefully curated and managed image and its sole purpose is to get your validation or to sell you something. That’s not to say it’s bad necessarily but it has to be used in context. Unfortunately, it seems we’ve kinda gotten out of context with it all and are (quite literally) – taking it literally. Patsy knows life is to be LIVED and that means dealing with the good, the bad and not having to edit out the ‘ugly’ bits (why would you, when you can laugh at them later?). So be kind to yourself and focus only on being the bestest, most fabulous version of YOU. Which leads me nicely into our next rule….
Rule #2 – Loosen up – it’s not that serious. For Patsy and Edina, every single day is an adventure. They grab life by the danglies and by god, they have fun. They’re unapologetic, they’re definitely not PC and they don’t care what you think. They’re fearless…..they’re authentic. Now I’m not suggesting for a moment that you steam-roller your way through life and over people; leaving a trail of devastation in your wake. Being authentic isn’t about disregarding everyone else’s feelings or well-being but nor should you pussy-foot around them either. Dropping the pretence and being your true self is freeing, liberating and will allow you to squeeze each precious drop out of life. This is your ride and if other people don’t like it, well they can just get off.
Rule #3 – You can count your true friends on one hand. Or on one finger, in Patsy’s case. We now live in a time where you can buy Instagram followers and people will tell you “I’ve got 1031 friends on Facebook”. Yeah, because those people really are your friends. But over an alarmingly short space of time, we’re becoming programmed to crave validation from people who a: don’t know us or b: only want to know us because we paid them to or they liked a picture we filtered the bejeesus out of. Surely I am not the only one who sees how truly messed up and shallow this rationale is? You simply can’t choose your friends like you would a piece of furniture on the Ikea website.
On the other hand (and for all of her faults), Patsy is fiercely loyal to Edina. These two don’t do anything without one another, they know everything about each other and if they’re pissed off they don’t put an enigmatic meme up on Facebook and then go take a tonne of moody/pouty selfies. No, instead they have a blazing row, trade a few insults, make up and then share a bottle of Bolly. What makes their relationship so special? They communicate. Face to Face. In the Matthew Hussey piece I mentioned in Rule #1, he talks extensively about how people have lost the art of face to face communication; simply because it’s so easy to hide behind a piece of technology, whilst all the time projecting a false image. However extensive your emoji library; nothing can take the place of human to human interaction. Our tone of voice, body language, facial expression and quirks make us the crazy, individual and wonderful MOFO’s that we are. No, not everyone will appreciate your particular brand of individuality….. but that’s just fine – you never needed their approval anyway.
So don’t be a validation junkie, waiting on someone else to give you permission to be fabulous. Be a Patsy. You won’t get more likes but you’ll get more loves.